Survival 101: Chickpea Simple Salad

Servings 4

Prep Time 10 minutes

Cooking Time 0 minutes

Total Time 10 minutes

Recipes for the Apocalypse
End of Times
Image by Stefan Keller from Pixabay

This is one of our absolute family favourites. Everyone loves it including the kids who wouldn’t normally go near a salad. They love the smoked taste of the peppers and the spiciness of the paprika. As for my husband, he just can’t get enough of this dish. I fry him up a big steak and serve it with this salad which compliments the beef perfectly. Honestly, I feel so fulfilled as a mum looking after my family and it only takes five minutes to make him happy. That’s about the same time as giving my man a blowjob. And whilst I swallow, I’d rather be swallowing this salad.


  • 1 (15-oz / 425 gram) tin chickpeas
  • ¼ cup smoked bell pepper, diced
  • ¼ pickled cucumbers, chopped
  • ½ tablespoon olive oil
  • ½ tablespoon red wine vinegar
  • ½ teaspoon regular old salt
  • ½ teaspoon smoked paprika
  • Freshly ground pepper
  • 1 pinch dried celery seeds


  1. Drain and rinse the chickpeas.
  2. Dice the smoked bell peppers.
  3. Chop the pickled cucumbers.
  4. Mix all ingredients together.
  5. Taste and add salt as desired.

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